Anger Management

“Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way is not easy." - Aristotle

Anger is a natural emotion. It's nature's way of telling us that something in our lives has gone wrong. Anger occurs as a defensive response to a perceived attack to our well-being. In addition to psychological changes, like any emotion, anger is accompanied by physiological changes. When you get angry your adrenaline flows, your heart rate increases and your blood pressure escalates. Here are some tips to manage your anger.

Take a timeout

Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the situation until your frustration subsides a bit.

Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

Do some exercise

Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm; it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, do few yoga poses, whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

Seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. Attend some anger management classes or anger management counseling. Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way.